Late-Night Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Television's leading comedians devoted the broadcast criticizing President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, labeled the "Trump card," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency arrangement for the affluent.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas song targeting the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins everything he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new program which permits foreign nationals to acquire U.S. legal status for a sum of one million dollars, with a "top-tier" version for five million. An official website promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick thought for you to affluent foreigners: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the card is also meant to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he said.

"Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these individuals absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval numbers amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a effort to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing conservative news arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.